(Note: This is adapted from something I wrote for my sister’s wedding in 2000. Joanne worked for the Cleveland Indians. Chris worked for the Chicago Cubs before moving to Cleveland. They have two amazing kids.)
On the sixth day, God decided to create women and men. And to give them some helpers.
So God rounded up the angels, who were in the middle of a baseball game spread across the cosmos, and told them of the grand plan. They were intrigued by the idea of having humans as part of creation.
“What will they be like?” the angels asked. “What will they do?”
God thought for a moment and said, “Well, they’ll be like me and you in some very important ways, different in some other ways. What will they do? They’ll start out very small and vulnerable, but they’ll grow up very fast. They’ll learn to love. They’ll form relationships, create families.”
The angels had more questions. Such as: What will relationship and family be about?
“They’ll be a way of coming together,” God said, trying to find a useful analogy, “kind of like forming a baseball team. You cheer for each other, help each other, encourage each other. You console each other on the bad days and celebrate the good ones together You’re there for each other.”
The angels listened intently as God continued explaining, pausing occasionally to find the right words.
“Sometimes you have to sacrifice in baseball so the other person can advance,” God said. “It’s the same with relationships and family.
“It takes patience to play baseball well. You can’t just swing at bad pitches. Family and relationships take a lot of patience, too, overlooking the bad and waiting for the good.
“You get dirty sometimes. You get discouraged and have your bad days, but you force yourself to keep going — just like in baseball.”
One angel asked: How long will relationships last?
“Like in baseball, there’s no set limits,” God said. “Each will be unique. Some will last longer than others. Some will work out better than others. It’ll just be very, very good that they try.”
Another angel asked: “What about bloopers? Will there be bloopers in relationships?”
“Of course!” God said. “That’s why a sense of humor is so important. When you wind up butting heads while running after the ball, the only thing you can do is pick yourself up and laugh.”
God paused for a second.
“One more thing,” God said. “In baseball, everything starts at home. It’s the same with family and relationship. Two or more people will become home for each other, a fixed point for everything else.”
The angels could identify.
“Good!” God said. “Well then, let’s get on with it. Your job will be to help them, to be their guardians. And who knows? You might inspire them enough that they name one of their baseball teams after you.”
And so it came to pass. God created women and men and decided that they were very, very good indeed. And God loved each of them very, very much.
Then, on the seventh day, God rested. After all, it had been a busy week.
And besides, God was scheduled to pitch the next day.